Saturday, September 18, 2010

Holding Fast and Pressing On in Isolation

I talked about embracing the unfamiliar and making it familiar last week and this week I am looking at the isolation I am currently experiencing.  It is not an isolation like solitary confinement but an isolation from community.  A community is a group of people who have intent, belief, resources, preferences, needs and other conditions in common.  A sense of community is feeling that one is contributing in some way to the benefit of the whole group by their actions or influence.  I must say currently I am without a sense of community.  I do not have a sense of belonging. 

When in Maine I had many communities where I belonged.  I was in the church community at Cornerstone; I was in the homeschool community with many like minded families; I was in the military community where we were experiencing common things; I was in community of women who were my friends and we had much in common.  Here I am very disconnected from the homeschool community, I have not been accepted into the church community yet and the military community here is very different than what I am used to.  Much has  changed in my life and in how I relate to people.  When we moved before I had little children and it was easy to make them the "common bond" that brought others together with a sense of community.  As I have gotten older and as my children have gotten older that is more difficult.  We are more set in our ways and in how we identify ourselves and it seems more difficult to find a common ground.  I am not saying we can't fellowship, I have met some wonderful people here with whom I fellowship but I still do not feel that sense of belonging. 

This is a real challenge for me since I am a social, extrovert who thrives on relationship and is motivated by those around me.  I am here and am having to do the things I know help me and are right for me without anyone to motivate me.  In the past I have relied on others to push me and make be better.  That is not wrong until one gets to the point where they refuse to move forward with out others who are headed in the same direction.  That desire for others to help motivate can become a heart idol when it becomes a requirement for doing hard things and moving forward. 

I am currently doing Beth Moore's Revelation study and she points out that John is on the Isle of Patmos without a Christian community and yet he is found "in the Spirit on the Day of the Lord."  He has no church to lead, no position to hold, no people counting on his example, no one to minister to and yet we find him doing what he needed to be doing.  He is keeping his heart and mind fixed on the Lord.  Scholars believe he was discouraged because he was the only disciple who had not given his life for the cause of Christ.  He was an exile sitting on an island waiting to die. He was one of the most relational disciples which is shown by his participation with Christ and his loyalty at the cross.  In the books John wrote in the Bible he talks much of relationship, it was very important to him .   He could have given in to the despair created by loneliness but instead he leaned on the Lord and stayed in the Spirit.

I looked at many of those whose lives are recorded in the Bible to see who else experienced this isolation from community.  Abraham left his community to go seek God.  Moses was forced by his choices to find sanctuary in a place where he had no community for 40 years and even when he delivered the people they never really embraced him as one of their own.    David spent much time running and feeling very alone as we see in the Psalms.  Many of the prophets describe times of isolation.  Esther lived in the palace and was void of any community who understood her beliefs and way of life.  Ruth felt isolated after coming from Moab to Israel.  Paul was alone for 3 years as he learned from Christ.  In looking at these people I see God uses isolation to refine us and prepare us for something he has planned for us. 

I am not succeeding all the time in doing what I need to do but I do see God has a purpose even though right now I do not know the purpose God has for me.  I am confident as I look at the evidence of those he has used that he too has a plan for me.  I must press on in my pursuit of God as I hold fast to the knowledge that God has a purpose. 

Holding Fast and Pressing On,


  1. Teresa,
    How hard Navy moves are! I remember longing for connection each place we went and dreading leaving so soon after achieving it. I am thankful for your friendship and your desire to blog about such a hard time in your life. It is really hard to understand what is happening, when it is happening. You have put your thoughts and feelings out there, no holds barred, and it helps me understand what you are going through. I have encouraged you before, Sister, with the fact that you have a fantastic husband and marriage. Hold on to that! What you and Randy have is special and so uncommon today. Scott and I are doing the "Love Dare" devotion for couples by the Kendricks brothers. They really understand the Biblical view of marriage and their study has made me appreciate anew how amazing God is and what a blessing marriage is.
    I am also thankful for technology like this and facebook. No, it is not the same as talking face-to-face, but it is a great way to connect when distance prevents face-to-face. (Plus, we get to see which friends can't spell or, at least, type!)
    Thanks again for sharing your heart. I think of you and your family often. I'll read your other post now and check back soon. Nicole
    PS Suzanne has started "How to Read Your Bible" with the 9, 10, and 11 yr old Sunday school class. Danny really likes it.
    PPS When you are down, look up Christian comedian Tim Hawkins on YouTube. He is absolutely hysterical....

  2. Thanks Nicole for the encouragement. I do need it from time to time. I am so grateful for my marriage and for the time we had in Maine with beautiful women like your self!

  3. I have just found your blog through someone who commented on my blog (my cousin! :) ), and I have read all your posts, and I am so interested in you and all that you have to say. I have felt so many of the things you are feeling, and thought some of the same thoughts.... and so now, I can't help but wonder how things are going. I admire your courage and determination and also your intellect. I hope you write again soon.

  4. Wendy, Thanks for your encouragement. I am pressing on toward what God wants and I am finding my place here. God Bless you.